Owed to the Fingers
By Steven C. Cramer, MD
Fingers make our lives go around
They snap and tap out daily sounds
They wave on a fetal ultrasound
And lower a coffin to the ground
They peel and poke and prod and pluck
And point with glee at a digger truck
They hide your mouth when you’re awestruck
And clink a flute filled with cold duck
They scoop ear wax and press thumb tacks
They flick on lights when you ride Amtrak
They hyperextend for a knuckle crack
After I go first, yours scratch my back
How many fingers has woman or man?
It’s a timeless, puzzling conundrum
Do most folks have five on each hand
Or four fingers plus one thumb?
Either way, let’s say, hail to the thumb
Trapezium’s crowning jewel
In the corner, Jack Horner’s best plum-pulling tool
Thumbs up from Bill Clinton, right after he lied
Thumbs down from Nero: “That man must die”
Thumb out, from the curb: “Can I have a ride?”
Thumb your nose if bellicose and find you’re tongue-tied
Index finger will plug a dyke, if it fits
In court rooms it points out the guilty culprits
In front of pursed lips it says hush now a bit
Taps twice on your temples to show you get it
The finger that’s third, midway through this herd
Displayed all alone means I flip you the bird
But add in its neighbor then peace is the word
When braided, good luck (or a lie has occurred)
A solo by others is typically rare
Though pinky alone can promise and swear
On ring fingers, wedding bands, with much fanfare
Are placed for the bride and her husband to wear
Fingers are best when they work in a team
Like Fernando Sor picked by Julian Bream
They signal “OK” when you’re offered ice cream
And write a prescription for cefotaxime
Together they’re vital to do Jujutsu
Let basketball refs show “Foul by 3 2”
Mock slice through your neck to show that you’re through
And type up the words of this poem for you.
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