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Poet in Profile: John O’Donohue

Poet in Profile: John O’Donohue

Contents
About the Author(s)
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Poet in Profile: John O'Donohue

By Jenifer L. Breshears Markley, PT, DPT

Download the article (pdf)

For a friend on the arrival of illness

By John O’Donohue

Now is the time of dark invitation
Beyond a frontier that you did not expect;
Abruptly, your old life seems distant.

You barely noticed how each day opened
A path through fields never questioned,
Yet expected, deep down, to hold treasure.
Now your time on earth becomes full of threat;
Before your eyes your future shrinks.

You lived absorbed in the day-to-day,
So continuous with everything around you,
That you could forget you were separate;

Now this dark companion has come between you.
Distances have opened in your eyes.
You feel that against your will
A stranger has married your heart.

Nothing before has made you
Feel so isolated and lost.

When the reverberations of shock subside in you,
May grace come to restore you to balance.
May it shape a new space in your heart
To embrace this illness as a teacher
Who has come to open your life to new worlds.

May you find in yourself
A courageous hospitality
Toward what is difficult,
Painful, and unknown.

May you learn to use this illness
As a lantern to illuminate
The new qualities that will emerge in you.

May the fragile harvesting of this slow light
Help to release whatever has become false in you.
May you trust this light to clear a path
Through all the fog of old unease and anxiety
Until you feel arising within you a tranquility
Profound enough to call the storm to stillness.

May you find the wisdom to listen to your illness:
Ask it why it came. Why it chose your friendship.
Where it wants to take you. What it wants you to
know.
What quality of space it wants to create in you.
What you need to learn to become more fully
yourself
That your presence may shine in the world.

May you keep faith with your body,
Learning to see it as a holy sanctuary
Which can bring this night-wound gradually
Toward the healing and freedom of dawn.

May you be granted the courage and vision
To work through passivity and self-pity,
To see the beauty you can harvest
From the riches of this dark invitation.

May you learn to receive it graciously,
And promise to learn swiftly
That it may leave you newborn,
Willing to dedicate your time to birth.1

Used with permission from the John O’Donohue Literary Estate

 

My time with poet John O’Donohue has been a pilgrimage. Capturing this man’s essence has been a substantial adventure, magnified by the paradoxical nature of the poet and his poetry. He embodies the transcendental as much as the earthy: a “priestly troubadour” 2 with a “wild soul” 3 who prized interior silence and solitude while speaking on an international stage–an activist-wordsmith-former-priest who wrote impassioned letters to the world’s power elite on topics of workplace integrity, environmental action and social equality. He joyfully encouraged late-nights-turned-early-mornings with his “fellow humanoids” 3 and bottles of aged scotch, while also urging intentional seclusion as a means of cultivating and reconnecting with one’s soul, as well as with others. 2-8

He was born in January 1956 on the western coast of Ireland, the eldest child of Patrick and Josie O’Donohue.  He spent his childhood wandering along the coast’s barren limestone landscape, a surreal terrain that ignited his imagination and spirituality, leading to an early awareness of the Divine.7,9 He entered seminary at 18, a course of study that was followed by a PhD in philosophical theology from Germany’s University of Tubingen. While there, he became an expert on the writings of Hegel and later Meister Eckhart. For eighteen years, he balanced his priestly duties with writing and issues of environmental advocacy and social justice, choosing to leave the priesthood in 2000 to devote himself to full-time writing and public service.  Prior to his death in January 2008, he published five books, including a collection of poetry and a book of blessings.  His most famous book, “Anam Cara” launched him into surprising notoriety, allowing him to introduce the world to his beliefs on acknowledging the Divine within societal and personal realities and on choosing to engage humanity with honor and integrity. 2-9

Essential to O’Donohue’s mission was the belief that the self contains a sacred, vital center, often buried beneath the distractions and isolation of modern life, which seeks to weave within and between lives while journeying toward an acceptance of  “human frailty but insistent on the triumphal power of divine love.“ 5 This conviction fueled his passions, resulting in a life’s work that was unwavering in its proclamation of the importance of the redemptive value of beauty, ambiguity and suffering, and of how attention and submission to such realities could bring us to healing, unity and reconnection, personally and collectively. 1,5,8,9

His 2007 Benedictus: A Book of Blessings (released as To Bless the Space Between Us in the United States in 2008) is a collection of poetic invocations intended to offer substance and language during unfamiliar, tenuous or difficult situations.1 Within, he acknowledges the anguish of ambiguity and suffering but refuses to end in a place of pity or preciousness.  Instead, harkening back to his central mission, he challenges the reader to move beyond their discomfort, invoke courage, and create a habitable space in which growth may occur, as witnessed within the blessing “For a Friend in the Arrival of Illness”:

 

May it shape a new space in your heart
To embrace this illness as a teacher
Who has come to open your life to new worlds.
May you find in yourself
A courageous hospitality
Toward what is difficult,
Painful, and unknown.

 

Implicitly, we are encouraged to partner with illness, if not forgive it the process, unfurling a pathway that may unearth its unforeseen beauty and, more importantly, our own.  This is a substantial challenge for a worldview in which we enthusiastically “kick cancer,” “beat illness” and champion the embodiment of  “live strong” and “just do it.”

Theoretically, I agree with O’Donohue’s mission, but as I suspect is the case with most of us, the truth is that I find myself recoiling and pushing against the images his poem invokes. The lines “To embrace this illness as a teacher” and, further within the poem, “Why it chose your friendship,” feel supremely uncomfortable.  On the one hand, “embrace,” “teacher” and “friendship” conjure images of safety and comfort, while “illness,” is synonymous with pain and disillusionment. Placed together, the images feel unjust and unwanted.  My spirit does not want illness to be “teacher,” any more than it wants it to be “friend.”  And, yet, what I have to acknowledge as a human and specifically, a healthcare worker – and what I think O’Donohue is challenging us to accept – is that regardless of my reactivity and rejection of the possibility, suffering does exist and quite frequently, we are powerless in its pursuit.

To this end, the question must be asked: How does my belief or disbelief in the transformative power of ambiguity or suffering guide my interactions with myself, as well as with my friend, partner or patient? Do I believe that “illness” (replace with any word or situation that connotes confusion or difficulty) can guide me toward a fuller understanding of myself?  Do I believe that my patients, too, have this opportunity, and that they, discharged home with newly acquired physical limitations and altered independence, may also become more aware and expanded versions of themselves?  If I do subscribe to such, how do I write goals and design treatments sustained by this belief?  How does it guide the words I choose to impart hope while in the midst of disillusionment?  Do I act or speak in a manner that facilitates acceptance without also encouraging passivity?  Am I patient with their journey  – and my own – toward recovery, acknowledgement and a future of revised images and dreams?

These are hard questions, and the answers are perhaps as individualized as the patients we treat.  However, because of O’Donohue’s personal and written legacy, we are not left to find our way without guidance. He believed that we “live at the intersection of the sacred with the profane,” 6 a place that allows for grief during the loss and grace during the journey, but seeks to discover the hidden resources and possibility that – until this moment – we may not have known existed.1 He believed that each of us hold these resources, fueled by the Divine but often experienced within the context of community.1,8 It is our awareness of our connectedness to both that can create the space in which we receive the unexpected, forgive ourselves our inadequacies and release our expectations; the space in which we extend unto ourselves – as well as to others and the situation –  “courageous hospitality” and a willingness “to dedicate [our] time to birth.”1

More Resources

  • Listen to John O’Donohue Recite the Poem at Onbeing.org
  • Listen to the Onbeing.org interview with John O’Donohue

Acknowledgements

Courtesy of John O’Donohue estate

References

  1. O’Donohue J. To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings. New York, NY: Doubleday; 2008.
  1. Wroe M. John O’Donohue: Former Catholic priest turned visionary bestselling author. theguardian Web site. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2008/apr/15/religion. Published April 18, 2008. Accessed September 1, 2016.
  1. A word from John’s family. John O’ Donohue Web site. http://www.johnodonohue.com/words. Accessed September 5, 2016.
  1. John O’Donohue: About. John O’ Donohue Web site. http://www.johnodonohue.com/about. Accessed September 5, 2016.
  1. Kornbluth J. John O’Donohue (1954-2008): our new friend on the other side. The Huffington Post Web site. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jesse-kornbluth/john-odonohue-19542008-ou_b_80710.html. Published January 9, 2008. Updated November 17, 2001. Accessed September 5, 2016.
  1. Higgins G. In memoriam. John O’ Donohue Web site. http://www.johnodonohue.com/memoriam/higgens. Accessed October 1, 2016.
  1. Dear J. The blessings of John O’Donohue. National Catholic Reporter: The Independent News Source Web site. https://www.ncronline.org/blogs/road-peace/blessings-john-odonohue. Published January 27, 2009. Accessed September 1, 2016.
  1. O’Donohue J. Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom. New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc; 1997.
  1. Tippett K. John O’Donohue – the inner landscape of beauty. On Being Web site. http://www.onbeing.org/program/john-o-donohue-the-inner-landscape-beauty/203. Published October 1, 2007. Updated August 6, 2015. Accessed June 1, 2016.


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

About the Author(s)

Poet in Profile: John O’Donohue

Contents
About the Author(s)
Share this:

Poet in Profile: John O'Donohue

By Jenifer L. Breshears Markley, PT, DPT

Download the article (pdf)

For a friend on the arrival of illness

By John O’Donohue

Now is the time of dark invitation
Beyond a frontier that you did not expect;
Abruptly, your old life seems distant.

You barely noticed how each day opened
A path through fields never questioned,
Yet expected, deep down, to hold treasure.
Now your time on earth becomes full of threat;
Before your eyes your future shrinks.

You lived absorbed in the day-to-day,
So continuous with everything around you,
That you could forget you were separate;

Now this dark companion has come between you.
Distances have opened in your eyes.
You feel that against your will
A stranger has married your heart.

Nothing before has made you
Feel so isolated and lost.

When the reverberations of shock subside in you,
May grace come to restore you to balance.
May it shape a new space in your heart
To embrace this illness as a teacher
Who has come to open your life to new worlds.

May you find in yourself
A courageous hospitality
Toward what is difficult,
Painful, and unknown.

May you learn to use this illness
As a lantern to illuminate
The new qualities that will emerge in you.

May the fragile harvesting of this slow light
Help to release whatever has become false in you.
May you trust this light to clear a path
Through all the fog of old unease and anxiety
Until you feel arising within you a tranquility
Profound enough to call the storm to stillness.

May you find the wisdom to listen to your illness:
Ask it why it came. Why it chose your friendship.
Where it wants to take you. What it wants you to
know.
What quality of space it wants to create in you.
What you need to learn to become more fully
yourself
That your presence may shine in the world.

May you keep faith with your body,
Learning to see it as a holy sanctuary
Which can bring this night-wound gradually
Toward the healing and freedom of dawn.

May you be granted the courage and vision
To work through passivity and self-pity,
To see the beauty you can harvest
From the riches of this dark invitation.

May you learn to receive it graciously,
And promise to learn swiftly
That it may leave you newborn,
Willing to dedicate your time to birth.1

Used with permission from the John O’Donohue Literary Estate

 

My time with poet John O’Donohue has been a pilgrimage. Capturing this man’s essence has been a substantial adventure, magnified by the paradoxical nature of the poet and his poetry. He embodies the transcendental as much as the earthy: a “priestly troubadour” 2 with a “wild soul” 3 who prized interior silence and solitude while speaking on an international stage–an activist-wordsmith-former-priest who wrote impassioned letters to the world’s power elite on topics of workplace integrity, environmental action and social equality. He joyfully encouraged late-nights-turned-early-mornings with his “fellow humanoids” 3 and bottles of aged scotch, while also urging intentional seclusion as a means of cultivating and reconnecting with one’s soul, as well as with others. 2-8

He was born in January 1956 on the western coast of Ireland, the eldest child of Patrick and Josie O’Donohue.  He spent his childhood wandering along the coast’s barren limestone landscape, a surreal terrain that ignited his imagination and spirituality, leading to an early awareness of the Divine.7,9 He entered seminary at 18, a course of study that was followed by a PhD in philosophical theology from Germany’s University of Tubingen. While there, he became an expert on the writings of Hegel and later Meister Eckhart. For eighteen years, he balanced his priestly duties with writing and issues of environmental advocacy and social justice, choosing to leave the priesthood in 2000 to devote himself to full-time writing and public service.  Prior to his death in January 2008, he published five books, including a collection of poetry and a book of blessings.  His most famous book, “Anam Cara” launched him into surprising notoriety, allowing him to introduce the world to his beliefs on acknowledging the Divine within societal and personal realities and on choosing to engage humanity with honor and integrity. 2-9

Essential to O’Donohue’s mission was the belief that the self contains a sacred, vital center, often buried beneath the distractions and isolation of modern life, which seeks to weave within and between lives while journeying toward an acceptance of  “human frailty but insistent on the triumphal power of divine love.“ 5 This conviction fueled his passions, resulting in a life’s work that was unwavering in its proclamation of the importance of the redemptive value of beauty, ambiguity and suffering, and of how attention and submission to such realities could bring us to healing, unity and reconnection, personally and collectively. 1,5,8,9

His 2007 Benedictus: A Book of Blessings (released as To Bless the Space Between Us in the United States in 2008) is a collection of poetic invocations intended to offer substance and language during unfamiliar, tenuous or difficult situations.1 Within, he acknowledges the anguish of ambiguity and suffering but refuses to end in a place of pity or preciousness.  Instead, harkening back to his central mission, he challenges the reader to move beyond their discomfort, invoke courage, and create a habitable space in which growth may occur, as witnessed within the blessing “For a Friend in the Arrival of Illness”:

 

May it shape a new space in your heart
To embrace this illness as a teacher
Who has come to open your life to new worlds.
May you find in yourself
A courageous hospitality
Toward what is difficult,
Painful, and unknown.

 

Implicitly, we are encouraged to partner with illness, if not forgive it the process, unfurling a pathway that may unearth its unforeseen beauty and, more importantly, our own.  This is a substantial challenge for a worldview in which we enthusiastically “kick cancer,” “beat illness” and champion the embodiment of  “live strong” and “just do it.”

Theoretically, I agree with O’Donohue’s mission, but as I suspect is the case with most of us, the truth is that I find myself recoiling and pushing against the images his poem invokes. The lines “To embrace this illness as a teacher” and, further within the poem, “Why it chose your friendship,” feel supremely uncomfortable.  On the one hand, “embrace,” “teacher” and “friendship” conjure images of safety and comfort, while “illness,” is synonymous with pain and disillusionment. Placed together, the images feel unjust and unwanted.  My spirit does not want illness to be “teacher,” any more than it wants it to be “friend.”  And, yet, what I have to acknowledge as a human and specifically, a healthcare worker – and what I think O’Donohue is challenging us to accept – is that regardless of my reactivity and rejection of the possibility, suffering does exist and quite frequently, we are powerless in its pursuit.

To this end, the question must be asked: How does my belief or disbelief in the transformative power of ambiguity or suffering guide my interactions with myself, as well as with my friend, partner or patient? Do I believe that “illness” (replace with any word or situation that connotes confusion or difficulty) can guide me toward a fuller understanding of myself?  Do I believe that my patients, too, have this opportunity, and that they, discharged home with newly acquired physical limitations and altered independence, may also become more aware and expanded versions of themselves?  If I do subscribe to such, how do I write goals and design treatments sustained by this belief?  How does it guide the words I choose to impart hope while in the midst of disillusionment?  Do I act or speak in a manner that facilitates acceptance without also encouraging passivity?  Am I patient with their journey  – and my own – toward recovery, acknowledgement and a future of revised images and dreams?

These are hard questions, and the answers are perhaps as individualized as the patients we treat.  However, because of O’Donohue’s personal and written legacy, we are not left to find our way without guidance. He believed that we “live at the intersection of the sacred with the profane,” 6 a place that allows for grief during the loss and grace during the journey, but seeks to discover the hidden resources and possibility that – until this moment – we may not have known existed.1 He believed that each of us hold these resources, fueled by the Divine but often experienced within the context of community.1,8 It is our awareness of our connectedness to both that can create the space in which we receive the unexpected, forgive ourselves our inadequacies and release our expectations; the space in which we extend unto ourselves – as well as to others and the situation –  “courageous hospitality” and a willingness “to dedicate [our] time to birth.”1

More Resources

  • Listen to John O’Donohue Recite the Poem at Onbeing.org
  • Listen to the Onbeing.org interview with John O’Donohue

Acknowledgements

Courtesy of John O’Donohue estate

References

  1. O’Donohue J. To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings. New York, NY: Doubleday; 2008.
  1. Wroe M. John O’Donohue: Former Catholic priest turned visionary bestselling author. theguardian Web site. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2008/apr/15/religion. Published April 18, 2008. Accessed September 1, 2016.
  1. A word from John’s family. John O’ Donohue Web site. http://www.johnodonohue.com/words. Accessed September 5, 2016.
  1. John O’Donohue: About. John O’ Donohue Web site. http://www.johnodonohue.com/about. Accessed September 5, 2016.
  1. Kornbluth J. John O’Donohue (1954-2008): our new friend on the other side. The Huffington Post Web site. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jesse-kornbluth/john-odonohue-19542008-ou_b_80710.html. Published January 9, 2008. Updated November 17, 2001. Accessed September 5, 2016.
  1. Higgins G. In memoriam. John O’ Donohue Web site. http://www.johnodonohue.com/memoriam/higgens. Accessed October 1, 2016.
  1. Dear J. The blessings of John O’Donohue. National Catholic Reporter: The Independent News Source Web site. https://www.ncronline.org/blogs/road-peace/blessings-john-odonohue. Published January 27, 2009. Accessed September 1, 2016.
  1. O’Donohue J. Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom. New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc; 1997.
  1. Tippett K. John O’Donohue – the inner landscape of beauty. On Being Web site. http://www.onbeing.org/program/john-o-donohue-the-inner-landscape-beauty/203. Published October 1, 2007. Updated August 6, 2015. Accessed June 1, 2016.


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

About the Author(s)

Jenifer Breshears Markley, PT, DPT

Jenifer Breshears Markley, PT, DPT graduated with Honors from Emory University in 2000 with a Masters in Physical Therapy. She received her Doctor of Physical Therapy in 2010 from MGH Institute of Heath Professions in Boston Massachusetts. Dr. Markley worked clinically for over 13 years within a variety of pediatric settings with an emphasis on developmental pediatrics. Concurrently, she worked in research with individuals post stroke on the NIH-funded, phase III, multi-site, randomized clinical trials EXCITE (Extremity Constraint Induced Therapy) and ICARE (Interdisciplinary Comprehensive Arm Rehabilitation Evaluation). Currently, Dr. Markley serves as the Assistant Director for Continuing Education within the Emory University Division of Physical Therapy and as the Faculty Associate Editor for the Journal of Humanities in Rehabilitation.

 

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Poet in Profile: John O’Donohue

Contents
Introduction
The Q-study
Conclusion
About the Author(s)
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“It Sounds Like a Drama:” Hearing Stories of Chronic Low Back Pain Through Poetic (Re)presentation

By Vinette Cross, PhD, MMedED, FCSP, DipTP, CertEd(FE)1,2, Janet McGowan, MRCS, MB BS, LRCP3, Carol McCrum, PhD, BApp.Sci (Physiotherapy), PGD (Manip. Physiotherapy)3, Emmanuel Defever, MSc4, Paul Stenner, PhD, BA(Hons) Psychology and Sociology5, Phil Lloyd6, Robert Poole7, Ann P Moore, PhD, GradDipPhys, FCSP, DipTP, CertEd, FMACP, ILTM1

Download the article (pdf)

Corresponding Author
1Dr. Vinette Cross, Senior Research Fellow
Centre for Health Research
University of Brighton
Eastbourne UK
Mobile: 07833 967951
Email:  v [dot] cross [at] brighton [dot] ac [dot] uk

2Senior Research Fellow
Institute of Health
Faculty of Education Health and Wellbeing
University of Wolverhampton
Wolverhampton UK
Email: vinette [dot] cross [at] wlv [dot] ac [dot] uk

Abstract

A poetic voice develops in different ways and from different sources. In this paper, a poetic voice is brought to the experiences of patients and family members as recounted in the first phase of a UK National Health Service funded Q-methodological study, the key outcomes of which are summarized.  Their stories are presented as a single poetic performance text crafted from the analysis of combined transcripts of three focus group discussions.  The performance bears witness to the sadness, frustration, and resolve of those living with chronic low back pain, and offers an additional hearing to that provided by the main study.

Key words

Chronic illness, low back pain, poetic representation, narrative, reflexivity, Q-methodology

Introduction

In their continuing endeavor to provide effective care and support, health and social care practitioners have drawn on the personal narratives of patients to enhance their understanding of what it is like to live with chronic pain and disability.1,2 At the same time, they struggle to respond to managerial demands for metric performance, measurable outcomes, and ‘value for money’ in the delivery of care.3,4  Researchers select differing definitions of personal narrative, depending on disciplinary context and research purpose, for example: expansive life stories within anthropology; episodic, topically specific stories in response to single interview questions; or extended accounts built up over multiple encounters.  The poem presented in this paper is based on stories and anecdotes recounted during three focus group discussions in which patients and family members shared their experiences of chronic low back pain.  The focus groups were part of a UK National Health Service funded Q-methodological investigation into self-management in chronic low back pain.5

The Q-study

The primary intent of the initial focus group transcript analysis was to look for recurrent accounts from patients of what seemed to be critical to their self-management of chronic low back pain. These would be set alongside the viewpoints of healthcare providers (including representatives from physiotherapy, clinical psychology, pain consultancy, general practice, orthopaedics, rheumatology, occupational health, and practice management in primary, secondary and third sector care services).  Subsequently, these combined accounts were organized into ten descriptive themes across the texts.  By filtering the categories within them (key experiences) and sub-categories (what characterized them), a set of sixty propositional statements was derived (a Q-set).  A further cohort of research participants rated these statements (Q-sorting) along an agree/disagree continuum according to a defined scale and matrix specific to the Q-methodology process.6  The completed Q-sorts underwent statistical analysis using principal component analysis and varimax rotation with Kaiser normalisation.  A four factor solution was accepted because each factor: a) had at least two ‘factor exemplar’ Q sorts loading significantly on it alone; b) satisfied the Kaiser–Guttman criterion, which states that all extracted factors should have an eigenvalue greater than unity (λ> 1) [4.23]; c) offered a clear, distinct and theoretically meaningful viewpoint on self-management.  These four viewpoints are summarised in Box 1.

BOX 1

Four perspectives on self-management in chronic low back pain 5

“Changing myself.” A strongly psychological approach, needing a lifestyle/mind-set change, expressed mainly by health professionals but also shared by patients.  A cure is unlikely, so patients should be willing to make lifestyle changes to cope with it.  Being positive is key to gaining a good understanding of the problem and overcoming any fear or uncertainty that might prevent the important business of staying physically active.  The process is all about patients regaining control of their lives by changing their lives to cope better with the pain.

“Changing what I do.” A strongly pragmatic approach guided by accurate information and practical strategies, shared mostly by patients and some professionals.  Psychology and relationships are different life issues best kept separate from chronic low back pain problems and their solutions.  By carefully observing what works and what doesn’t, life can be organised to maximise their capabilities and minimise future flare-ups. Patients want to plan and organise their lives in accordance to their pain tolerance so that they can get on with their lives.

“Not sure what to change.” Mostly patients and few practitioners voiced this perspective. The main focus was on the uncertainty of how to manage the complex characteristics of chronic low back pain.  Managing pain is not a simple affair and cannot be successfully managed without help.  Because chronic low back pain is so complex, a strong, trusting relationship with healthcare practitioners is important, so that help can be accessed as and when needed. However, practitioners’ advice must be easily transferable to everyday life.

“The others must change.” Only patients voiced this perspective.  They felt very reliant upon practitioners to manage their pain effectively.  At the same time, there is uncertainty about the extent to which they can be relied upon. This perspective is concerned with how patients are portrayed in society. Since pain is invisible, others do not necessarily take it seriously or believe them. They want to challenge the perception that they might be avoiding work or playing the system.  Their wish is for mutual understanding between practitioners, other patients, friends and families.

(Adapted from Stenner and Cross et. al 2015)

For more details on criteria for factor solutions in Q methodology see Watts & Stenner (2012).

 

Repositioning ourselves

The Q analysis fulfilled the primary purpose of the project brief.  However, it became clear during the focus group interviews with patients that they were caught up in stories that were “too lively and too wild”7 p1 to simply be tied to the strategic post of rateable statements.  Their stories demanded more from us.  Taking our cue from one of the patients, who described her life as sounding “like a drama”, we repositioned ourselves to try and achieve a more reflexive engagement with the participants.  We interwove stories across all three focus group transcripts, and VC crafted these into a single poetic performance text, based on the strategies described by Richardson.8   The potential of poetic inquiry as a way of knowing through poetic language and devices, and as an expression of affective experience, is increasingly celebrated, and the scope of its application is wide (see Prendergast for a comprehensive account9).  Poetic inquiry may be categorized in terms of the voice engaged, for example, researcher-voiced poems may be derived from field notes, reflective journals, or auto-ethnographical writing in a research context.  Participant-voiced poems may be created from interview transcripts, or created de novo by participants.  Such poems may be written in collaboration with researchers, or reflect singular or multiple voices.  We reworked or (re)presented the transcribed data, in the way described below, to create the ‘found poem’10 that follows, although in doing so we were mindful that we were only “moving in the direction of poetry”11 p213 in terms of structure, not composing in the way of those steeped in the traditions of poetry as a creative art form.

Found poetry is constrained by a predetermined text that is reconfigured to approximate poetry through the concentrated language of the interviewee shaped by the researcher.  However, found poems derived from data

…are not just transcriptions of interviews or observations with random line breaks – they must be spare, economical, rich and resonant…An effective data poem is no different from an effective poem – each word…Each line break matters; each space matters.12 p 42

To create “It sounds like a drama” the already thematically coded transcripts were treated as one document, which was re-read several times.  Phrases were cut and pasted under new thematic headings (which we used to divide the poem into ‘dramatic acts’) then played with poetically to create rhythm and resonance with an economy of words.  This process involved making choices to craft an evocative collective response, which is linguistically faithful to the transcripts.   Pelias uses the metaphor of a camera, which captures the most compelling pictures.13  Then each frame is carefully studied, so that each shot is significant and many are left on the cutting room floor.  In so doing we hoped to “…weave a stronger fabric” than was possible with separate stories.14 p798  By trying to show as much as tell these stories, we sought to go beyond the confines of the factor solution.

 

IT SOUNDS LIKE A DRAMA  

PROLOGUE

And it sounds like a drama,
but when you’re actually in that bed,
and you cannot get up
without help from your kids,
it’s not a place I want to be. 

ACT 1 – THE BLOW FALLS

I haven’t suffered with back pain all my life,
I’ve had sciatica a few times, but you know,
it came as a bit of a blow when,
all of a sudden I couldn’t walk properly
because of the numbness and things
I’ve fallen downstairs, broke my tailbone,
no-one came for two weeks.
My back went when I sneezed,
and I thought that was it – for life!
Mobile phone across the room,
couldn’t get to that,
couldn’t get to the door,
couldn’t call for help…
and two Dobermans wandering round!
Mine all started with a lump on my leg,
back operation eight weeks ago.
And I’m not allowed, for another six weeks,
to push, carry, stretch or bend.
And that’s been a nightmare, you know.

ACT 2 – GETTING DOWN TO PAIN

The pain can get you down,
sometimes I get very down.
I actually contemplated at some point,
the amount of painkillers I had,
to actually take my life,
because I just thought
“This is no way for anybody to live!”
Well I manage quite well because
I’m on a very high dose,
morphine patches and Tramadol.
I find I’m managing my pain, not too bad.
I could do without it,
but then everybody can.

ACT 3 – TAKING CONTROL TO DO WHAT YOU DO

I live on my own,
there’s nobody, you know,
to shout and to help you,
stuff like that.
But you just get on,
because you need to adapt,
there’s no ways, you know,
no other ways, no.
when you don’t have no-one
no-one to rely on,
you know?
It is hard in the mornings to
get up from bed,
go to the toilet,
simple things like that,
But you just have to learn,
use your common sense,
find different ways of getting round things.
There’s things you can’t do,
make a bed, stuff like that, and
I wouldn’t be without the grabber!
I take it easy, but still
I do what I do.
It’s not just like I’m phoning off sick.
You need to move,
if you’re just going to stay in bed
it’s not going to help you at all.
I’m lucky, part time working
I can afford to get cabs,
but stuck in your home,
is an isolating thing.
You’ve got to have the willpower
I laid on the floor, for six months.
I done exercises, and after six months
I was walking again
all strapped up
with corsets and metal bars,
Running my own business,
I had to be on site.
Some days you can’t get up,
get in the car or the van,
but with willpower,
I succeeded.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that
I’m going to be in pain
for the rest of my life.
Some days it’s manageable,
some days it’s not.
Once I come to realise that,
I’ve taken control.
I’m doing stuff within my own body,
the weight’s coming off,
I’ll get up and move.
Don’t care where I am,
instead of sitting there
If I’m uncomfortable
I’ll get up and move.

ACT 4 – GUILT MEETS REGRET

I have a lot of guilt about my back;
can’t do what I want with my children.
going to theme parks and stuff like that.
I’m independent, like to do things myself
and now I’m having to say all the time,
“Can you help me because
I can’t…”
It’s stopped me from doing a lot really.
It takes your dignity away as well.
I’ve lost the closeness of friendships I think.
I can go out for a bit, but I can’t
stand around for too long,
and I feel like I’m
slowing them down.
With my partner,
whenever we go out and about,
we’re always the first ones to leave.
It’s the feeling that
everyone’s looking at you, thinking,
“Why are they going,
it’s New Year’s Eve?”
People don’t always understand
how you feel. Not sympathetic,
they tend to forget,
you’re in pain. You can see them
roll their eyes, and it’s,
“Oh yeah she’s got back pain!”

ACT 5 – TOUGHING IT OUT

Doctors get it wrong.
If you’re curtailed by what you’re told,
you’re not managing your life,
you’re not managing the pain,
Basically you know, you don’t even think,
you just do what comes straight in your mind.
It just gets so bad you feel you can’t cope
but you do, you get through the day.
It’s got a lot better,
but it’s still ten steps ahead, then
something happens and
you’re back where you started.
Got to build yourself back up,
I’ll tough it out, not giving in,
won’t let it beat me,
But it has completely
changed
my life

EPILOGUE

Well unless you’ve had it, I don’t know,
don’t see how you could understand
I want my normal life back!
I don’t want to care
about my back!
Back pain,
it just rules
your life!

CURTAIN 

Conclusion

We have referred to our representation variously as a poem, performance text, and by its title as drama.  These last two may be thought to carry some assumption of live performance that goes beyond a mere narrative.15   However, in striving for an evocative impact, the criteria for judging it may be considered performative in the way that Galvin and Todres describe.16   That is: does it tell us something that connects with universal qualities to which an audience can relate personally; does it help an audience to see more clearly by increasing the sense of contact with the experience, without fully possessing it?  In other words, to what extent does the poem succeed in making the participants’ voices present, not through any presupposition of ‘truthfulness’ but through a constructed, authentic, composite testimony based on the lived experiences of real people rendered poetically?

Our Q-factor solution played its part in conceptualizing the experience of chronic low back pain.    In concert with the four factors (Box 1) “It sounds like a drama” bears evocative and critical witness to the sadness, frustration, and resolve of living with chronic low back pain. Each factor is embedded in the performance to some extent.  For example, ‘changing myself’ by wresting control from the pain – “I find I’m managing my pain, not too bad, I could do without it, but then everybody can”.  “I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m going to be in pain for the rest of my life”;  ‘changing what I do’ by working out what works – “But you just have to learn, use your common sense, find different ways of getting round things”; ‘not sure what to change’ without help and trust –  “Doctors get it wrong. If you’re curtailed by what you’re told, you’re not managing your life.”  “Can you help me because I can’t…”; ‘the others must change’ through challenge to perceptions and mutual understanding – “It’s the feeling that everyone’s looking at you.”  “Not sympathetic, they tend to forget, you’re in pain. You can see them roll their eyes.”

For practitioners engaged in judgement-based practice, they should not only pay close attention to the particularities of the overtly ‘known’, but they should also strive to relate to the greater whole of the, as yet, unknown; to gain some embodied sense of what the experience feels like.16 As narrators of their chronic pain stories, patients confront us with alarming, seemingly unanswerable questions and expectations that often fly in the face of prevailing health care discourses.  As seasoned listeners, we may fall prey to the assumption (fear?) that these stories (played out in the drama above) of ‘heroes and villains,’ ‘revolt and subjugation,’ ‘responsibility and blame,’ approval and disapproval,’ ‘acceptance and denial,’ harbour “expectations that need restraint.”17 p9,18  Not least because they may seem impossible to fulfill.  Thus, even as we strive to be “attuned to the patient through engagement, on the side of the patient through compassion, and available to the patient through reflection”19 p1899 it is easy to become disengaged and blasé; to simply go through the motions, foreclose on the possibility of other hearings, and render ourselves unavailable.   But for the patients and their families, the drama continues.  Approaches such as that offered here can act as “enabling fictions”, which in their performance, evoke empathic responses to human experience, and create spaces where others might see themselves. 13 p9-10   In so doing, they invite further multiple interpretations and enliven the possibilities for dialogue and relational understanding.

Acknowledgements

Our thanks go to the patients and family members who gave generously of their time and whose words provided inspiration, common sense, and hope.

The research reported here was funded by a grant from the Research for Patient Benefit Programme of the UK National Institute for Health Research (PB-PG-0909-20039).

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About the Author(s)

Vinette and Janet represent a team of clinicians, researchers, and service users who worked together on the project, heard the participants’ stories, and brought their voices to these pages.

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